How to cope with obsessive thoughts on your own. How to get rid of obsessive thoughts and anxiety

Intrusive thoughts are a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and can often accompany generalized anxiety disorder(GTR). A lot of people write and ask us questions about how to get rid of obsessive thoughts. Therefore, I decided to write to describe some ways to overcome obsessions.

Intrusive thoughts and anxiety

Obsessive thoughts appear suddenly in the head and their content is frightening and causes suffering to those who are bothered by them. For example, a young and anxious mother has the thought that she might harm her child, or a deeply religious woman who sits in church has blasphemous thoughts and fears that she might begin to say them out loud. Compulsions make people afraid, ashamed, and feel like terrible people.

If you are bothered by these types of symptoms, then I think you have noticed that you cannot stop thinking about these disturbing thoughts, and the more you try to stop thinking, they become more and more intrusive.

The biggest fear for a person with obsessive thoughts is believing in their ability to do what they are thinking about.

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Let's look at what to do about compulsions so you can reduce your anxiety and discomfort. It's time to allow yourself to break out of this vicious circle.

Separation with thoughts

The biggest fear for a person with obsessive thoughts is believing in their ability to do what they are thinking about. And the first step in reducing the impact of intrusive thoughts is to understand the fact that thoughts do not equal action.

Example: Imagine you were given a hammer and nails and told to hammer them into a wall. Most likely you will do this calmly. What if they give you the same nails and a hammer, but at the same time ask you to hammer them into the hand of another person. I am sure that you will have a fear of doing this, which will stop you from this action, because you are aware of the consequences.

It is because of fear that you will never be able to do what arises in your thoughts.

Rest assured, intrusive thoughts are not who you are. Thoughts do not determine a person and his actions.

Useful facts about obsessions

Other ideas that may help you detach from your thoughts:

• We don't always control the thoughts that appear in our heads. If you pay attention, you will notice that most thoughts come naturally. For example, you wake up in the morning, and a stream of thoughts is already rushing through your head. And only sometimes, by force of will, we direct them to solve a particular problem. But once this problem is solved, the stream of thought begins to flow in its own direction.
• We have no control over when thoughts come and when they go. In most cases, we don't even know how the thought-producing factory that produces them works.
• We have no way to stop this factory without damaging the brain with surgery or pills. Our head is constantly thinking about something. Try to get rid of thoughts and stop thinking for at least 10 minutes and, most likely, you will see that you are unlikely to succeed.
• We cannot delete a thought we don't like, like a file on a computer. Rather, on the contrary, as soon as we try to get rid of it, it will become a constant object of our thoughts.
• Thoughts will never become reality just because you think about them. For example, you might think that tomorrow you will grow wings. But no matter how much you think, you are unlikely to be able to fly.
• Thoughts are absolutely powerless. Without your actions, thoughts are nothing. You are fully able to control your actions, so obsessions will remain nothing more than words and images in your mind.

Allow obsessive thoughts to flow freely in your head and they will become the background, and focus your attention on those things that are really important to you

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Along with separating yourself from thoughts, accepting (allowing) these thoughts is also important.

Acceptance (allowing) to reduce anxiety and intrusive thoughts

Accepting something that makes you feel pretty bad probably feels crazy, but it's effective. I think you've noticed that the more you fight intrusive thoughts and try not to think about them, the more they overwhelm you. This is because they become the focus of attention and you become trapped by them when you struggle. Gradually, obsessive thoughts absorb almost all your attention.

Instead of fighting them, let the intrusive thoughts just be there. You don't have to love or enjoy them, but don't try to push them out of your mind. Just accept that these thoughts appear without your knowledge and continue with your usual activities.

You can say the following: “I notice a thought in my head...” This will allow you to understand that it is just a thought and separate yourself from it. The main thing is, don’t enter into dialogue with her, don’t argue, in fact, don’t do anything. Allow thoughts to flow freely in your head and they will become the background, and transfer the focus of attention to those things that you are doing at one time or another, to what is truly important and valuable to you.

Thus, you separate yourself from the content of thoughts and agree that they exist, but at the same time they are not real and do not have power over you and the actions that you perform. By ceasing to be a slave to your thoughts, you will free up resources to move towards your goals, rather than remain fixated and stressed.

An interesting metaphor from the movie "Doctor Strange"

Usually people consider thought to be something unimportant,

therefore they are very little picky when accepting thoughts.

But from accepted correct thoughts all good things are born,

All evil is born from accepted false thoughts.

Thought is like a ship's rudder: from a small rudder,

from this insignificant plank trailing behind the ship,

depends on the direction and, for the most part, fate

the whole huge machine.

St. Ignatiy Brianchaninov,

Bishop of the Caucasus and Black Sea

During crisis periods in life, almost everyone suffers from an invasion of obsessive thoughts. More precisely, obsessive thoughts are the form in which false ideas come to us and try to take power over us. Every day, our consciousness is subject to their active attacks. This prevents us from soberly assessing the situation, making plans and believing in their implementation; because of these thoughts, it is difficult for us to concentrate and find reserves to overcome problems; these thoughts are exhausting, and often lead to despair.

Here are some thoughts that arise during a breakup:

· I won't have anyone else. Nobody needs me (nobody needs me)

· He was the best and I won’t find anything like him again

· I can’t live without him (her)

· Everything that happened is entirely my fault

· I won't be able to build relationships with anyone because I no longer respect myself

· There will be no joy in the future. Real life is over, and now there will only be survival

· It is better not to live at all than to live like this. I don't see the point in such a life. I don't see any sense or hope

· I can't trust anyone now

· How will I tell my parents about this?

· Everyone is judging me now.

· I can't do anything. I won't be able to become normal and respected.

And similar thoughts. They permeate our consciousness. They don't let us go for a second. They make us suffer much more than the events themselves that caused the crisis.

There are a number mental illness(depression organic origin, schizophrenia, etc.), in which the complex of symptoms includes obsessive thoughts. For such diseases, we know of only one possibility of help - pharmacotherapy. In this case, you need to contact a psychiatrist to prescribe treatment.

However, most people who suffer from intrusive thoughts during a crisis do not have psychopathological disorders. With the help of our advice, they will be able to successfully get rid of these thoughts and get out of the crisis state.

What is the nature of obsessive thoughts?

From the point of view of science, obsessive thoughts (obsessions) are the incessant repetition of unwanted ideas and drives, doubts, desires, memories, fears, actions, ideas, etc., which cannot be gotten rid of through willpower. The real problem in these thoughts is exaggerated, enlarged, and distorted. As a rule, there are several of these thoughts, they line up in a vicious circle that we cannot break. And we run in circles like squirrels in a wheel.

The more we try to get rid of them, the more they appear. And then a feeling of their violence appears. Very often (but not always), obsessive states are accompanied by depressive emotions, painful thoughts, and also feelings of anxiety.

To overcome this problem, we need to answer the questions:

· What is the nature of obsessive thoughts? Where do they come from?

· How to deal with obsessive thoughts?

And then it turns out that psychology does not have an exact answer to this question.

Many psychologists, speculatively and without evidence, have tried to explain the cause of obsessive thoughts. Different schools of psychology are still at war with each other on this issue, but the majority still associate obsessive thoughts with fears. True, this does not clarify how to deal with them. We tried to find at least some method that would effectively deal with them, but in the last century they found only a method of pharmacotherapy that can temporarily help cope with fear, and, accordingly, with obsessive thoughts. The only bad thing is that it is not always effective. The cause remains, and pharmacotherapy only temporarily relieves the symptom. Accordingly, in the vast majority of cases, pharmacotherapy is ineffective as a method of combating obsessive thoughts.

There is another old method that creates the illusion of solving the problem, but only seriously aggravates it. Despite this, this method is often resorted to. We are talking about alcohol, drugs, crazy entertainment, extreme activities, etc.

Yes, very much a short time This way you can disconnect from obsessive thoughts, but then they will still “turn on”, and with increased force. We will not dwell on explaining the ineffectiveness of such methods. Everyone already knows this from their own experience.

Classical psychology does not provide recipes for effectively combating obsessive thoughts because it does not see the nature of these thoughts. To put it simply, it is quite difficult to fight an enemy if you cannot see him and it is not even clear who he is. Schools of classical psychology, having arrogantly crossed out the vast experience of spiritual struggle accumulated by previous generations, began to re-build certain concepts. These concepts are different for all schools, but the main thing is that the cause of everything is sought either in the faceless and incomprehensible unconscious of the person himself, or in some physical and chemical interactions of dendrites, axons and neurons, or in frustrated needs for self-realization, etc. P. At the same time, there are no clear explanations of what obsessive thoughts are, the mechanism of their influence, or the laws of their occurrence.

Meanwhile, answers to questions and successful solutions to problems have been known for thousands of years. An effective way to combat obsessive thoughts in mental health healthy person exists!

We all know that the strength of obsessive thoughts is that they can influence our consciousness without our will, and our weakness is that we have almost no influence on obsessive thoughts. That is, behind these thoughts there is an independent will, different from ours. The very name “obsessive thoughts” already suggests that they are “imposed” by someone from the outside.

We are often surprised by the paradoxical content of these thoughts. That is, logically we understand that the content of these thoughts is not entirely justified, not logical, not dictated by a sufficient number of real external circumstances, or even simply absurd and devoid of any common sense, but, nevertheless, we cannot resist these thoughts. Also, often when such thoughts arise, we ask ourselves the question: “How did I come up with this?”, “Where did this thought come from?”, “Did this thought get into my head?” We cannot find the answer to this, but for some reason we still consider it ours. At the same time, an obsessive thought has a huge impact on us. Everyone knows that a person haunted by obsessions retains a critical attitude towards them, understanding all their absurdity and alienness to his mind. When he tries to stop them by force of will, it does not bring results. This means that we are dealing with an independent mind, different from ours.

Whose mind and will is it that is directed against us?

Holy Fathers Orthodox Church they say that a person is similar situations deals with demonic attacks. I want to clarify right away that none of them perceived demons as primitively as those who have not thought about their nature perceive them. These are not those funny hairy ones with horns and hooves! They have no visible appearance at all, which allows them to act unnoticed. They can be called differently: energies, spirits of evil, essences. There is no point in talking about their appearance, but we know their main weapon is lies.

So, exactly evil spirits, according to the holy fathers, there is a reason for these thoughts that we accept as our own. Habits are hard to break. And we are so accustomed to considering all our thoughts, all our internal dialogues and even internal battles as ours and only ours. But to win these battles, you need to take your side in them, against the enemy. And for this we need to understand that these thoughts are not ours, they are imposed on us from the outside by a force hostile to us. Demons act like banal viruses, while trying to remain unnoticed and unrecognized. Moreover, these entities act regardless of whether you believe in them or not.

Saint Ignatius (Brianchaninov) wrote about the nature of these thoughts: “The spirits of evil wage war against a person with such cunning that the thoughts and dreams they bring to the soul seem to be born in itself, and not from an evil spirit alien to it, acting and trying together.” take cover."

The criterion for determining the true source of our thoughts is very simple. If a thought deprives us of peace, it is from demons. “If, from any movement of the heart, you immediately experience confusion, oppression of the spirit, then this is no longer from above, but from the opposite side - from the evil spirit,” said Righteous John of Kronstadt. But isn’t this the effect of obsessive thoughts that torment us in a crisis situation?

True, we are not always able to correctly assess our condition. Famous modern psychologist VC. Nevyarovich in the book “Soul Therapy” writes about this: “The lack of constant internal work on self-control, spiritual sobriety and conscious management of one’s thoughts, described in detail in ascetic patristic literature, also affects this. One can also believe, with a greater or lesser degree of obviousness, that some thoughts, which, by the way, are always almost felt as alien and even forced, violent, actually have a nature alien to humans, being demonic. According to patristic teaching, a person is often unable to discern the true source of his thoughts, and the soul is permeable to the demonic elements. Only experienced ascetics of holiness and piety, with a bright soul already purified by prayer and fasting, are able to detect the approach of darkness. Souls covered with sinful darkness often do not feel or see this, because in the dark the dark is poorly distinguished.”

It is the thoughts “from the evil one” that support all our addictions (alcoholism, gambling addiction, painful neurotic dependence on certain people, etc.). Thoughts that we mistakenly mistake for our own push people to suicide, despair, resentment, unforgiveness, envy, passions, indulge pride, and reluctance to admit their mistakes. They obsessively suggest to us, disguised as our thoughts, to do very bad things towards others, and not to work on correcting ourselves. These thoughts prevent us from taking the path of spiritual development, instill in us a feeling of superiority over others, etc. Such thoughts are these “spiritual viruses.”

It is the spiritual nature of such thought-viruses that is confirmed by the fact that, for example, it is often difficult for us to do a godly deed, pray, or go to church. We feel internal resistance, we make great efforts to resist seemingly our own thoughts that find great amount excuses for us not to do this. Although, it seems, what’s so difficult about getting up early in the morning and going to church? But no, we will quickly get up early anywhere, but to go to the temple it will be difficult for us to get up. According to the Russian proverb: “Even though the church is close, walking is slimy; But the tavern is far away, but I walk slowly.” It’s also easy for us to sit in front of the TV, but it’s much more difficult to force ourselves to pray for the same amount of time. These are just some examples. In fact, our whole life consists of a constant choice between good and evil. And by analyzing the choices we make, everyone can see the effects of these “viruses” every day.

This is how spiritually experienced people viewed the nature of obsessive thoughts. And their advice for overcoming these thoughts worked flawlessly! The criterion of experience clearly indicates that the church’s understanding of this issue is correct.

How to overcome obsessive thoughts?

How, in accordance with this correct understanding, can one overcome obsessive thoughts?

The first steps are:

1. Acknowledge that you have obsessive thoughts and the need to get rid of them!

Make a firm decision to get rid of this slavery in order to continue building your life without these viruses.

2. Take responsibility

I would like to note that if we accept these obsessive thoughts from the outside and perform certain actions under their influence, then it is we who are responsible for these actions and the consequences of these actions. It is impossible to shift responsibility to obsessive thoughts, because we accepted them and acted in accordance with them. It was not thoughts that acted, but ourselves.

Let me explain with an example: if an assistant tries to manipulate a manager, then if he succeeds, and the manager makes an erroneous decision because of this, it is the manager, and not his assistant, who will be held responsible for this decision.

3. Muscle relaxation

Everyone accessible means combating obsessive thoughts, if they are caused by fears and anxieties, is muscle relaxation. The point is that when we can completely relax our body, remove muscle tension, then along with this, anxiety necessarily decreases and fears recede, and, accordingly, in most cases, the intensity of obsessive thoughts decreases. The exercise is quite simple to do:

Lie down or sit down. Relax your body as much as possible. Start by relaxing the muscles of the face, then the muscles of the neck, shoulders, torso, arms, legs, ending with the fingers and toes. Try to feel that you do not have the slightest tension in any muscle of your body. Feel it. If you were unable to relax any area or group of muscles, then first tense this area as much as possible, and then relax. Do this several times and that area or muscle group will definitely relax. Able complete relaxation you need to stay for 15 to 30 minutes. It’s good to imagine yourself in a comfortable place in nature.

Don't worry about how successfully you achieve relaxation, don't suffer or strain - let relaxation arise at your own pace. If you feel that extraneous thoughts are visiting you during the exercise, try to remove extraneous thoughts from your consciousness, switching your attention from them to visualizing a place in nature.

Do this exercise several times throughout the day. This will help you significantly reduce anxiety and fears

4. Switch your attention!

It’s better to shift your attention to what helps effective fight with these obsessive entities. You can switch your attention to helping people, creative activity, social activities, housework. Our ancestors believed that it was very good to engage in useful physical work to expel obsessive thoughts.

5. Do not engage in self-hypnosis by repeating these thoughts to yourself!

Everyone is well aware of the power of self-hypnosis. Self-hypnosis can sometimes help a lot severe cases. Self-hypnosis can relieve pain, treat psychosomatic disorders, and significantly improve psychological state. Due to its ease of use and pronounced effectiveness, it has been used in psychotherapy for a long time.

Unfortunately, self-hypnosis of negative statements is often observed. A person who finds himself in a crisis situation constantly unconsciously utters statements to himself and out loud that not only do not help to get out of the crisis, but also worsen the condition. For example, a person constantly complains to friends or makes a statement to himself:

I was left alone.

I won't have anyone else.

I don't want to live.

I won't be able to return her, etc.

Thus, the mechanism of self-hypnosis is activated, which actually leads a person to certain feelings of helplessness, melancholy, despair, illness, and mental disorders.

It turns out that the more often a person repeats these negative attitudes, the more negatively they affect the thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions, and ideas of this person. There is no need to repeat this endlessly. By doing this, you not only do not help yourself, but also drive yourself deeper into the crisis swamp. What to do?

If you find yourself repeating these spells often, then do the following:

Change the setting to the exact opposite and repeat it many times more often.

For example, if you constantly think and say that life ended in divorce, then carefully and clearly say 100 times that life goes on and will get better and better every day. It is better to make such suggestions several times a day. And you will really feel the effect very quickly. When writing positive statements, avoid the prefix “not.” Example: not “I won’t be lonely in the future,” but “I will still be with my loved one in the future.” This is very important rule drawing up statements. Pay attention to this. It is important. Don't make statements about things that aren't achievable or ethical. You should not give yourself instructions to raise your self-esteem.

6. Try to find it locally hidden benefits depending on the state you are in! Skip these benefits!

Paradoxical as it may seem, a person who is constantly attacked by heavy, exhausting obsessive thoughts very often finds imaginary benefits for himself in their presence. Most often, a person cannot and does not want to admit these benefits even to himself, because the very idea that he has a benefit from the source of suffering seems blasphemous to him. In psychology, this concept is called “secondary benefit.” IN in this case secondary benefit is a side gain in a given situation from existing torment and suffering, exceeding the gain from solving the problem and further well-being. It is impossible to list all the possible benefits that a person receives from his own suffering. Here are some of the most common ones.

1. “He was the best and I won’t find anything like him again.” »

Benefit: no need to change yourself. Why strive for anything? Why look for mistakes in relationships? There will be nothing more anyway! Why seek God's help? It's all over anyway!

If you agree with this idea, then you can do nothing and receive the sympathy of others. And if a person is actively involved in the struggle for happiness, then he will no longer receive such compassion for himself

2. “There will be no joy in the future. Real life is over, and now there will only be survival."

Benefit: you don’t have to think about how to get out of the situation (life is over), you don’t have to think too much, you don’t have to work hard. Self-pity appears, the severity of the situation (imagined) justifies all mistakes and wrong actions. Pleasant sympathy from others and attention to yourself from friends and relatives appears

3. “It’s better not to live at all than to live like this. I don't see the point in such a life. I don’t see any meaning or hope.”

If there is hope, then it seems like we need to take steps. But I don’t want to do this. Therefore, the easiest way is to come to terms with this thought, but not try anything. Sit and feel sorry for yourself, accepting the role of the victim.

4. “Everything that happened is only my fault”

Benefit: you don’t need to think about real mistakes, look for ways to recover, and think objectively about the reasons that led to such an ending. Just give up, but don’t think, don’t admit that you built illusions towards this person (taking the blame on yourself, you don’t have to think about it).

Such obsessive thoughts are replaced by similar ones: “I have always been unlucky / unlucky, I was born under an unlucky star”... I.e. It’s more profitable to shift responsibility for your own life to circumstances or events, and persuade yourself not to do anything to improve the situation and its solution, because the excuse appears again.

5. “I won’t be able to build relationships with anyone because I no longer respect myself. I can't do anything. I won’t be able to become normal and respected.”

Benefit: you don’t have to think about what you need to do to be respected. Self-pity and complacency give reason to do nothing about it.

In this case, agreeing with the idea that we are unworthy or defective, we give ourselves the opportunity not to strive for anything, treating others with consumerism, looking only for sympathy or praise.

7. “Everyone is judging me now.”

Everyone cannot be judged. But if you agree with this idea, then this is an excellent reason to feel sorry for yourself and not seek help from people. And again passively go with the flow, without remaking yourself

8. “I won’t be able to trust anyone anymore.”

Benefit: no need to understand the reasons for betrayal, no need to find reasons, no need to try to correct yourself and get out. There is no need to learn to select friends based on deeds, not words. There is no need to change the communication environment to a better one, in which there is room for trust. Because if you don’t change yourself, then your social circle remains the same, therefore, the circle closes and there is no way out.

9. “I can’t live without him (her)” or “How will I be alone now?”

It is difficult to realize our own dependence on a particular person and the infantile or, conversely, overprotective position we occupy in relationships. These thoughts arise when personal space has been completely subordinated to the Idol (idol). (It’s not for nothing that many of these idolaters write the pronoun denoting Idol with capital letter: He, She or even HE, SHE.) It is beneficial in this situation not to become an adult, changing your own attitudes, remaining immature, and not accepting responsibility for your life. With an overprotective position, it is beneficial to realize one’s importance and “know-it-all” about what is best for someone, without taking into account the opinion of this person.

10. “How will I tell my parents about this?”

We must learn to cope with false shame. Humble yourself too. Learn to be an adult and take responsibility. But this is exactly what I don’t want! Yes, and thereby delaying the final resolution of the issue. It is difficult to admit to yourself that everything is over in a relationship. It's hard to put an end to it.

Think about what “benefits” you might have by agreeing with these thoughts. Don't find anything positive in them. Typical thoughts are listed at the beginning of the article. Formulate more precisely what you mean. If you want to justify yourself, feel sorry for yourself, not take some steps, not take responsibility for your decisions, then in this case obsessive thoughts will always offer their services to you and justify all your actions. But we must remember that for these “services” of obsessive thoughts you will have to pay with them by further dependence on them.

When looking for “benefits”, everything that is “exposed” looks very unattractive, and a person ceases to be the way he WANTS to see himself. This process is very painful, however, if the secondary “benefit” is found and realized, you will be able to find both other ways to implement it and eradicate this “benefit”, as well as find a successful solution from your own difficult situation.

Once again I want to note that all secondary “benefits” are hidden from consciousness. You can't see them now. You can understand and reveal them only by impartial analysis of your actions, thoughts and desires.

Pay attention to the contradiction between your interests, your logic and those thoughts that are trying to take over you! Evaluate their paradoxicality, inappropriateness, and logical inconsistency. Assess the consequences and disadvantages of the actions that following these thoughts may lead to. Ponder this. Think about whether you see in these thoughts a direct discrepancy with what your consciousness tells you. Surely you will find many inconsistencies between obsessive thoughts and your consciousness.

Recognize that these thoughts are not yours, that they are the result of an external attack of other entities on you. As long as you consider obsessive thoughts to be your own, you will not be able to oppose them with anything and take measures to neutralize them. It is impossible to neutralize yourself!

8. Don’t try to overcome obsessive thoughts by arguing with them!

Obsessive thoughts have one feature: the more you resist them, the more forcefully they attack.

Psychology describes the “White Monkey” phenomenon, which proves the difficulty of dealing with external influence inside consciousness. The essence of the phenomenon is this: When one person says to another “Don’t think about the white monkey,” then it is the white monkey that he begins to think about. Active struggle with obsessive thoughts also leads to the same result. The more you tell yourself that you can handle it, the less you can handle it.

Understand that this condition cannot be overcome by willpower. You cannot resist this attack on equal terms. This situation can be likened to how a very drunk person pesters physically weaker passers-by. Moreover, the more they pay attention to him, call him to order, ask him not to pester him, the more he does this and even begins to behave aggressively. What is the best thing to do for the weak in this case? Walk by without paying attention. In our case, we need, without entering into conflict with these thoughts, to simply switch our attention from them to something else (more pleasant). As soon as we switch our attention and ignore obsessions, they lose their power for a while. The more often we ignore them immediately after they appear, the less they annoy us.

This is what the holy fathers say about this: “You are used to talking to yourself and think about arguing with your thoughts, but they are reflected by the Jesus Prayer and silence in your thoughts” (Reverend Anthony of Optina). “A crowd of tempting thoughts becomes more persistent if you allow them to slow down in the soul, and even more so if you also enter into negotiations with them. But if you push them away the first time strong tension will, rejection and turning to God, then they will immediately withdraw and leave the atmosphere of the soul pure” (St. Theophan the Recluse). “A thought, like a thief, comes to you - and you open the door for him, bring him into the house, start a conversation with him, and then he robs you. Is it possible to start conversations with the enemy? Not only do they avoid conversations with him, but they also lock the door tightly so that he does not enter” (Elder Paisiy Svyatogorets).

9. The most powerful weapon against obsessive thoughts-

Worldwide famous doctor, laureate Nobel Prize in physiology and medicine for work on vascular suture and transplantation blood vessels and organs, Dr. Alexis Carrel said: “Prayer is the most powerful form of energy emitted by man. It is as real a force as gravity. As a doctor, I have seen patients who were not helped by any therapeutic treatment. They were able to recover from illness and melancholy only thanks to the calming effect of prayer... When we pray, we connect ourselves with the inexhaustible vitality, which sets the entire Universe in motion. We pray that at least some of this power will come to us. By turning to God in sincere prayer, we improve and heal our soul and body. It is impossible for any man or woman to fail to have a single moment of prayer without a positive result.”

The spiritual explanation for the help of prayer in this problem is very simple. God is stronger than Satan, and our prayerful appeal to Him for help drives out evil spirits who “sing” their deceitful, monotonous songs into our ears. Everyone can verify this, and very quickly. You don't need to be a monk to do this.

In a difficult moment of life

Is there sadness in the heart:

One wonderful prayer

I repeat it by heart.

There is a power of grace

In the consonance of living words,

And an incomprehensible one breathes

Holy beauty in them.

From the soul, as a burden rolls away,

Doubt is far away

And I believe and cry,

And so easy, easy...

(Mikhail Lermontov).

Like everyone else good deed, prayer must be practiced with reasoning and effort.

We must consider the enemy, what he inspires in us, and direct the weapon of prayer towards him. That is, the word of prayer should be the opposite of the obsessive thoughts that are instilled in us. “Make it a law for yourself, every time trouble happens, that is, an attack from the enemy in the form of a bad thought or feeling, not to be content with just reflection and disagreement, but to add prayer to this until opposing feelings and thoughts form in the soul,” says Saint Theophan.

For example, if the essence of obsessive thoughts is grumbling, pride, unwillingness to accept the circumstances in which we find ourselves, then the essence of the prayer should be humility: ““God’s will be done!”

If the essence of obsessive thoughts is despondency, despair (and this is an inevitable consequence of pride and grumbling), a grateful prayer will help here - “Glory to God for everything!”

If the memory of a person torments us, let’s simply pray for him: “Lord, bless him!” Why will this prayer help you? Because he will benefit from your prayer for this person, and evil spirits do not wish good for anyone. Therefore, seeing that good comes from their work, they will stop tormenting you with images of this person. One woman who took advantage of this advice said that prayer helped a lot, and she literally felt next to her the powerlessness and annoyance of the evil spirits that had overcome her before.

Naturally, we can be overcome by different thoughts at the same time (there is nothing faster than thought), so the words of different prayers can be combined: “Lord, have mercy on this person! Glory to You for everything!”

You need to pray continuously, until victory, until the invasion of thoughts stops, and peace and joy reign in your soul. Read more about how to pray on our website.

10. Sacraments of the Church

Another way to get rid of these entities is the Sacraments of the Church. First of all, this is, of course, confession. It is at confession, contritely repenting of our sins, that we seem to wash away all the dirt that has stuck to us, including obsessive thoughts.

It would seem, what are we to blame for?

Spiritual laws say unequivocally: if we feel bad, it means we have sinned. Because only sin torments. Those very grumblings about the situation (and this is nothing more than grumbling against God or resentment towards Him), despondency, resentment towards a person - all these are sins that poison our souls.

By confessing, we do two very useful things for our soul. First, we take responsibility for our condition and tell ourselves and God that we will try to change it. Secondly, we call evil evil, and evil spirits do not like reproof most of all - they prefer to act on the sly. In response to our deeds, God, at the moment the priest reads the prayer of permission, does His work - He forgives us our sins and drives out the evil spirits that besiege us.

One more the most powerful means in the struggle for our soul is the sacrament. By partaking of the Body and Blood of Christ, we receive the grace-filled power to fight the evil within ourselves. “This Blood removes and drives demons far away from us and calls Angels to us. Demons flee from where they see the Sovereign Blood, and Angels flock there. Shed on the Cross, this Blood washed the entire universe. This Blood is the salvation of our souls. The soul is washed by it,” says St. John Chrysostom.

“The Most Sacred Body of Christ, when well received, is a weapon for those at war, a return for those moving away from God, strengthens the weak, cheers the healthy, cures illnesses, preserves health, thanks to it we are more easily corrected, in labor and sorrow we become more patient, in love - more ardent, more refined in knowledge, more ready in obedience, more receptive to the actions of grace” - St. Gregory the Theologian.

I cannot assume the mechanism of this deliverance, but I know for sure that dozens of people I know, including my patients, got rid of obsessive thoughts precisely after the Sacraments.

In general, hundreds of millions of people felt grace after the Sacraments. It is they, their experience, that tells us that we should not ignore the help of God and His Church with these entities. I would like to note that after the Sacraments some people got rid of obsessions not forever, but for a while. This is natural, since this struggle is long and difficult.

11. Take care of yourself!

Idleness, self-pity, apathy, despair, depression are the most nutritious substrates for the cultivation and multiplication of obsessive thoughts. That is why try to constantly be present the right thing, be physically active, pray, watch your physical condition, get enough sleep, don’t maintain these states in yourself, don’t look for benefits in them.

Mikhail Khasminsky, crisis psychologist)

Often negative thoughts and feelings prevent us from enjoying the good things in life. Gradually we begin to think about bad things more and more often, and immersion in negative thoughts becomes a habit that is difficult to eradicate. In order to overcome this habit (as well as any other), you need to change your way of thinking.

When we're stressed about something, the last thing we want is for negative thoughts to add to our stress, so it's important to learn how to cope with the endless stream of thoughts. In this article we will talk about how to rid yourself of unnecessary worries.

Steps

Change your way of thinking

Think about today. When you are tormented by anxious thoughts, what do you think about most often at that moment? You are probably reliving past events (even if it happened a week ago) or thinking about what will happen in the future. In order to stop worrying, you need to remember the present moment, about today. If you shift your attention from what has already happened or will be, to what is happening now, it will become easier for you to stop perceiving everything too negatively. But, as often happens, this is not so easy to do. In order to learn to live in the present, you must first learn to concentrate on what is happening to you literally at this very moment.

• There is one simple technique: Look at a calming image (photo, painting). This will allow your head to rest and let go of all the bad thoughts, and this only happens naturally - that is, when you are not deliberately trying to get rid of thoughts and are not waiting for you to finally succeed. This is a very simple but effective way to calm down and relax.
• If that doesn't work, try distracting your mind by counting from 100 to 7, or pick a color and find all the objects in the room that color. This way you can get rid of the chaos in your head, and then you can focus on the present moment again.

1. Don't isolate yourself. One of the consequences of focusing on bad thoughts is often an ever-increasing distance between you and the world around you. If you decide to come out of your shell and reconnect with the world, you will have less time and energy for bad thoughts. Don't scold yourself for negative thoughts or emotions - this will only make things worse. You may have often thought about how much you disliked someone, and then felt guilty about such thoughts or angry with yourself because of it. Because of this perception, cause-and-effect relationships and incorrect attitudes are strengthened in the head, which over time become extremely difficult to get rid of. Below we present several simple ways switch from your inner world to external.

   Develop self-confidence. Self-doubt in all its diversity of manifestations often becomes the main cause of difficult thoughts and strong experiences. This feeling constantly haunts you: no matter what you do, it is with you everywhere. For example, when talking with a friend, you are constantly worried about how you look, what impression you make, instead of just talking. You need to develop self-confidence, and then your life will be easier full life and do not torment yourself with destructive thoughts.

   • Try to do something exciting regularly - this will make you feel confident in your abilities. For example, if you are good at baking pies, enjoy the entire baking process: enjoy kneading the dough, enjoy the aroma that fills your home.
   • When you manage to develop the ability to live joyfully in the present moment, remember this feeling and reproduce it as often as possible. Remember that the only thing keeping you from feeling present is your perception, so stop tormenting yourself with self-criticism.

Understand how the mind works

1. Examine your attitude towards negative thoughts or feelings. Because bad thoughts often arise simply out of habit, they can come as soon as you stop taking care of yourself. Promise yourself not to dwell on these thoughts, because you need to learn not only to let them go, but also to prevent new ones from appearing.

   Watch yourself. Identify how thoughts or feelings manage to control you. Thoughts have two components - topic (what you think about) and process (how you think).

   • Consciousness does not always need a topic - in cases of its absence, thoughts simply jump from one to another. Consciousness uses such thoughts in order to protect itself from something, or in order to calm and distract from something else - for example, from physical pain, because of fear. In other words, when a defense mechanism is triggered, often the mind is simply trying to latch onto something to give you something to think about.
   • Thoughts that have a specific topic have a completely different character. Perhaps you are angry, worried about something, or thinking about some problem. Such thoughts are often repeated and always revolve around the same thing.
   • The difficulty is that the mind cannot be constantly absorbed in a topic or process. In order to correct the situation, it is worth remembering that thoughts alone will not help the matter. Often we don't want to let go of thoughts and feelings because we want to better understand the situation: for example, if we are angry, we think about all the circumstances of the situation, all the participants, all the actions, and so on.
   • Often our desire to think about something is either simply think turns out to be stronger than the desire to let go of thoughts, which significantly complicates the whole situation. The desire to think only for the sake of the process of “thinking” can lead to self-destruction, while this struggle with oneself is another way to escape from the situation that initially caused the thoughts. It is necessary to overcome the desire to constantly think about something and learn to let go of thoughts, and after some time the desire to let go of thoughts in all cases will be stronger than the desire to scroll something in your head without stopping.
   • Another problem is that we tend to think of thoughts as part of our personality. A person is not ready to admit that he can cause himself pain and suffering. There is a generally accepted opinion according to which it is believed that all feelings concerning oneself are valuable. Some feelings lead to negative experiences, others do not. Therefore, it is always necessary to take a closer look at thoughts and feelings in order to understand which ones should be left and which ones should be released.

2. Try some experiments.

   • Try your best not to think about a polar bear or something incredible - for example, a crimson flamingo with a cup of coffee. This is a fairly old experiment, but it reveals the essence of human thinking very well. When we try to refrain from thinking about the bear, we suppress both the thought of it and the idea that we need to suppress something. If you deliberately try not to think about the bear, the thought of it will not go away.
   • Imagine that you are holding a pencil in your hands. Think about the fact that you want to leave him. In order to throw a pencil, you need to hold it. While you are thinking about giving it up, you are holding on to it. Logically speaking, the pencil cannot be thrown as long as you hold it. The harder you want to throw, the more forcefully you hold it.

3. Stop fighting your thoughts with force. When we try to overcome some thoughts or feelings, we are trying to collect more strength to strike, but because of this we cling to these thoughts even more tightly. The more effort, the greater the load on the consciousness, which responds to all these attempts with stress.

   • Instead of trying to forcefully get rid of thoughts, you need to loosen your grip. The pencil can fall out of your hands on its own, just as thoughts can go away on their own. It may take time: if you tried to forcefully eradicate some thoughts, the consciousness could remember your attempts, as well as its response.
   • When we go through our thoughts in an attempt to understand them or try to get rid of them, we do not move because the thoughts simply have nowhere to go. Once we stop obsessing over the situation, we let them go.

Learn something new

1. Learn to cope with your thoughts. If a thought or feeling keeps coming back to you over and over again, there are many ways to stop it from consuming you.

   • There's probably a movie you've watched many times, or a book you've re-read. You always know what will happen next, so you are not so interested in watching the movie or reading that book again. Or maybe you've done something so many times that you don't want to do it again because you know how bored you'll be. Try to transfer this experience to a situation with thoughts: as soon as you lose interest in thinking about the same thing, the thought will go away on its own.

2. Don't try to run away from negative thoughts and emotions. Are you tired of the exhausting thoughts that are always with you, but have you really tried to deal with them? Sometimes a person tries to pretend that something does not exist, instead of accepting it. If you deal with negative thoughts or emotions this way, they can stay with you forever. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, and then let go of unnecessary emotions. If your mind imposes thoughts and emotions on you, it can cause you to judge yourself. There are many manipulative mechanisms hidden in our minds, and many of them we are not even aware of. Consciousness manipulates us because it strives to control us through addictions to a variety of things and strong desires. By and large, we are driven by our addictions.

   • Remember that your happiness is in your hands, that feelings and emotions should not determine how you manage your life. If you allow worries about the past or future and obsessive desires to control you, you will never be able to live a fulfilling life.
   • Control your thoughts yourself. Turn them inside out, change them - in the end, you will understand that you have power over your thoughts, and not they have power over you. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is a temporary measure, but it can also be extremely useful at the right time. It will be easier for you to let go of thoughts if you feel that you are in control.
   • If your thoughts revolve around a problem that you have yet to resolve, try your best to come up with ways out of the problematic situation. Do everything in your power, even if the situation seems completely hopeless.
   • If your thoughts and feelings are related to a sad event (such as the death of a relative or a breakup), allow yourself to feel the sadness. Look at photos of the person you miss, think about the good things you experienced together, and cry if it makes you feel better - all this is human. It can also be helpful to write about your feelings in a journal.

Remember the good

1. Know how to remind yourself of the good. If you're stressed, tired from work, or just feeling down, bad thoughts may return. In order to prevent them from completely consuming you, use special methods of dealing with unwanted thoughts that will not allow them to take root.

   Practice visualization. This method will be especially useful for those who are very busy and who do not have enough time to relax. It is necessary to imagine in detail some pleasant place: it can be a memory of a place where you felt good, or a fictitious place.

2. Think about your achievements. The world gives us many opportunities to enjoy life: you can help others, get things done, achieve certain goals, or simply get out into nature with your family or have dinner with friends. Thinking about pleasant things develops self-confidence and makes us more receptive to good things.

   • Be grateful for what you have. For example, write down three things for which you are grateful to the universe. This way you can quickly “put things in order” in your head and get rid of the flow of thoughts.

3. Take care of yourself. Bad feeling won't give you in to the fullest enjoy life and remain optimistic. When a person takes care of his body and takes care of his mental state, negative thoughts and emotions simply have nothing to cling to.

   • Get enough sleep. Lack of sleep reduces vitality and does not contribute to a good mood, so try to sleep at least 7-8 hours a day.
   • Eat well. Balanced diet will allow your brain to receive all the elements it needs. Include in your diet sufficient quantity fruits and vegetables.
   • Play sports. Regular physical activity will help you not only stay fit, but also fight stress. Both will contribute feeling better and will allow you to free yourself from heavy thoughts.
   • Limit your alcohol intake and don't take drugs. Alcohol is a depressant, and even small amounts can throw you off your emotional balance. This also applies to most drugs. Limit your intake and your mental state will improve.
   • Seek help if you feel the need. Taking care of mental health is no less important than paying attention to physical health. If it is difficult for you to cope with the thoughts that torment you on your own, seek help from a specialist: a psychologist, a social worker, a priest - and they will help you return to your normal life.

• Remember that feelings and thoughts are like the weather: bad weather gives way to a sunny day. You are the sky, and feelings and thoughts are rain, clouds and snow.
• The more often you perform the exercises described above, the easier it will be for you to find a common language with yourself.
• Understanding the thinking process helps to effectively combat negative thoughts. A simple exercise will help you with this: sit down, relax, and observe your feelings and reactions. Imagine that you are a scientist who needs to study how humans work.
• Everyone likes positive emotions and joyful feelings, but they also pass, and we cannot constantly keep them in our heads in the hope that there will be no other, less pleasant ones. However, you can remember these feelings when you need to calm down and stop thinking about bad things.
• Contact a psychologist if constant flow thoughts interfere with your daily life.
• Close your eyes, “look” at the thought and tell it to stop. Keep doing this until the thought goes away.

Warnings

• Attempts to forcefully get rid of some sensations or emotions will cause defensive reaction in organism.
• If necessary, consult a specialist. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
• It is impossible to completely protect oneself from shocks, since a person changes and reacts to external impulses. It is not in our power to force the body to work differently.

Bad thoughts appear in the head at the most various reasons. They can sit in the subconscious for a long time and interfere with a normal life. Therefore, they must be driven away. Let's learn how to get rid of bad thoughts in several ways.

The influence of bad thoughts on life

Negative thoughts are very difficult to control. They prevent you from resting and do not give you peace even in a comfortable environment. This can cause deterioration not only in mental health, but also in physical health. A person becomes irritable, absent-minded, suspicious, hot-tempered, and more and more new diseases appear.

Also, constantly thinking about the bad takes up too much time. Although it could have been spent on really important things. A person gets stuck in his experiences and does not move forward. Thoughts are material. Negative thoughts only attract troubles and realize fears.

“Don’t take bad things into your head or heavy things into your hands,” - this is what people say, and for good reason. You need to free your head from pessimistic thoughts, and not overload yourself with physical labor in order to maintain your health. Yes, and bad thoughts always entail severe consequences. Therefore, it is imperative to get rid of negativity.

Reasons for bad thoughts

Every anxiety has a source. It must be determined in order to understand how to proceed. Very often negative stories from the past interfere with life. A person experiences guilt (although it may be far-fetched) and constantly worries about this.

For other people, negativity becomes a character trait. They are also called complainants. They love to do soul-searching and have been pessimists since childhood.

Negative personal qualities They also poison life. This may be self-doubt, in which any event or decision becomes a test. Suspiciousness can be viewed in the same vein. In such a person, anything can put anxiety in his head, from a news report to the conversation of random passers-by.

Of course, the source can also be real problems that a person cannot solve. Waiting for the outcome is what makes you nervous, imagining not the most optimistic scenarios in your head.

But religion explains in its own way why there are always bad thoughts in your head. It is believed that the cause of obsessions and experiences is evil spirits, demons. They need to be fought in an unconventional way- prayer.

Let's look at several techniques that psychologists recommend using when bad thoughts appear.

Calculation

The first step to solving a problem is to understand what is causing your anxiety. The reasons can be very deep, so it is better to visit a psychologist. But you can try to cope on your own. To do this, on a piece of paper you need to write all your fears in two columns: real and fictional, and then opposite each one - his decision, that is, what needs to be done so that the anxiety does not come true.

For example, how to get rid of bad thoughts about an open window or an unturned stove? Every time before leaving the house you need to double check this action.

Solution

Often negative thoughts appear due to unresolved problems. If a way out of the situation can be found, then you need to act. Bad thoughts about the problem will go away as soon as it is resolved. But, unfortunately, many are often accustomed to complaining and doing nothing to change the situation. If you are reading this article, then this is not about you. You are definitely ready to act, and everything will work out for you. You just need to identify the source of the anxiety.

Adoption

Not all problems can be solved; sometimes nothing depends on the person. For example, a relative or friend is hospitalized and is fighting for his life. In such a situation, it is quite normal to worry. The solution is to accept negative thoughts. You need to realize what you are actually experiencing, and there is nothing unusual about it.

Are bad thoughts creeping into your head? Accept them and live with them. But you don’t need to give them free rein, otherwise they will take over the behavior. It is better to observe negative messages from the outside, without subsequent reaction to them. The essence of this technique is action, not savoring thoughts. So do everything you can and leave the rest to chance.

Removal and replacement

This method will require a little awareness and understanding of your emotions. As soon as you feel negativity appearing in your head, immediately remove it, as if you were throwing garbage into a bin. You need to try not to get hung up on thoughts, not to develop this topic, but try to forget about it. The best assistant in this matter will be substitution. The point is that you need to start thinking about something pleasant, positive, or at least neutral.

With this technique, there is no need to figure out how to get rid of bad thoughts. They are not fueled, but replaced by other events. Each time it will turn out easier and better. And after some time, consciousness will begin to use this method automatically.

Postponement

It’s not for nothing that they say that the morning is wiser than the evening. Sometimes it's best to postpone your thoughts until later. For example, if you can't sleep because of bad thoughts, promise yourself that you will definitely think about it tomorrow. If the problem is not particularly serious, then the brain will easily agree with this proposal. WITH high probability in the morning the negativity will no longer bother you and will even resolve itself.

This is a very simple but effective technique. It can be used in many situations. There is no point in thinking about something that will become insignificant in the future. Realizing this makes it much easier to get the negative things out of your head. For serious problems this method will not work. It is better to find solutions for them.

Suppression

Bad thoughts suddenly appeared in your head, what should you do then? It is necessary to suppress the desire to be upset as quickly as possible so as not to develop an unpleasant topic. To do this, you need to put aside all your affairs, count to thirty and take five deep exhalations and inhalations. The brain needs time to comprehend the subject of thought, so as not to make irrational conclusions and unreasonable actions.

If the anxiety still does not go away, then repeat all the steps. If possible, go outside and take a short walk. This will allow you to put your thoughts in order and even distract you from negativity.

Reduction to the Absurd

You can try the completely opposite technique. On the contrary, you need to completely immerse yourself in bad thoughts and consider what bad things could happen as a result. It is most effective to imagine the most. Use your imagination, use exaggeration, make your thoughts vivid.

For example, you need to pass an important interview. It is clear that many people have bad thoughts at such moments. Imagine in vivid colors what kind of failure might await you. The head of the HR department, as soon as he sees your resume, starts screaming loudly and throwing tomatoes. You decide to escape such shame and run out of the office. But then the cleaning lady throws a wet rag at you because you trampled the entire floor. Out of surprise, you fall, get up and run again. And then you are kidnapped by aliens and taken to another planet.

Absurd, isn't it? But it is precisely this kind of exaggeration that takes away the power of negative thoughts. You just have to try it to be convinced of the effectiveness of the technique.

Wording on paper

Psychologists also recommend putting all your bad thoughts on paper. They need to be written down in detail, in all colors and details. The more often we formulate experiences, the less often we return to them. This means they will bother you less and less. Bad thoughts written down on paper should be considered a completed stage, so the piece of paper can be torn or burned.

Sometimes it is more effective not to destroy records. In some situations, it is better to fill out two columns on the sheet - negative and positive thoughts, so that you can compare them later. The first records negative experiences. And in the second - pleasant. It could also be some positive attitudes. For example, “I am smart”, “I do a good job”, “I am a wonderful wife” and so on.

You can write down only your own good qualities and place it in a visible place (on your desk or in the bathroom). As soon as bad thoughts appear, immediately look at this list to remind yourself of the good.

Positive social circle

Pay attention to what kind of people surround you. Think about whether among your acquaintances and friends there are those who evoke negative thoughts. If you count even a few such people, then you shouldn’t blame yourself and upset yourself even more. Whatever the true reason for the behavior, relationships with these people are harmful mental health. Experts recommend temporarily avoiding these individuals. If during this period your mood and well-being have improved, then it will be better to end the relationship with them.

You should not stick with people who constantly insult, ridicule, or disrespect your hobbies and time. It’s better that you have one friend, but a positive one, and you don’t have to think about how to remove bad thoughts. Cheerful people always bring back good memories, lift your spirits and charge you with positive energy.

There are also universal methods, which perfectly help cope with bad thoughts. Psychologists also recommend actively using them. They bring feelings into balance in cases of mild anxiety, and in more complex cases they only enhance the effect of the above techniques. Their main mechanism is distraction. Perhaps these methods will be familiar to many from personal practice.

Positive music

Scientific research has proven that you can drown out bad thoughts with the help of a pleasant melody. Therefore, determine for yourself the best music channel or wave on the radio, and also create a playlist of positive songs in your gadget. As soon as you feel that disturbing thoughts are penetrating your consciousness, turn on the music loudly and cheer yourself up.

A favorite hobby or activity will help you take your mind off your fears and anxieties. This can be any activity that brings pleasure (dancing, singing, riding a bike, handicrafts, reading books, growing flowers and much more).

Some people get rid of stupid thoughts by doing dirty work - cleaning the house. They start washing dishes, floors, dusting, cleaning closets, and so on. Of course, positive music will brighten up an unloved task. So bad thoughts will get Double punch and disappear in an instant.

Physical exercise

Sport is excellent remedy to get rid of bad thoughts. Physical exercise relieve adrenaline, unload nervous system, so they relieve stress well. Moreover, when regular classes A nice, toned body will be a nice bonus. Such psychological relief, combined with awareness of one’s attractiveness, increases self-confidence and reduces the number of reasons for concern. Just don't overload yourself. Don't forget about moderation and good rest so as not to leave room for negative experiences.

Proper nutrition

It is drinking and food that give us the resources and strength to exist. Unbalanced diet, hunger or lack of fluid depletes the body and leads to fatigue. It is she who creates the conditions for worry even about a minor matter. That's why it's important to eat healthy food and use healthy drinks(fruit drinks, freshly squeezed juices, compotes, green tea And clean water). In moments of sadness, you should treat yourself to food antidepressants: chocolate, raisins, bananas, hazelnuts and whatever you like. Psychologists say that tasty food also drives away bad thoughts.

Appeal to God

Prayer helps religious people get rid of bad thoughts. Only sincere appeal will become a powerful weapon in the fight against evil spirits. Prayer will establish energy connection with the deity and drive away inner demons. Only here the moment of humility with what is happening is important if you are not satisfied with certain circumstances. If the problem is despair or despondency, then you need to turn to higher powers with gratitude. If you are offended or angry at another person, you should forgive him yourself and mention his pardon in prayer.

It is not necessary to know famous texts to get help from higher powers. It is enough to sincerely address and express everything in your own words, then you will definitely be heard.

Now you know how to get rid of bad thoughts if they visit you. Can be used psychological techniques, universal techniques or prayer if you are a religious person.